Saturday, April 9, 2011

FUN #5


           


While traveling along the great network of tubes that is the internet I came across a wonderfully sick magazine called “FUN”. From the cover I knew that this magazine would indeed be fun. The price for said magazine was simply the shipping, how fucking awesome is that?!?!
            FUN is a magazine loaded with knowledge that should not be known. It contains the secrets of the underground, the unknown, the strange and the weird. The articles vary from “Interesting”, “That’s a good point”, “Are they fucking with me?”, and “The fuck is this shit?” There really is a terrific variety of stories. Also the illustrations that accompany the stories as well as the magazine as a whole, work well to create an atmosphere of insanity. To give you a better idea of what the hell is going in this magazine; here are some of the article titles:

“Roid Rage: The top 10 steroid-induced murders of all time”
“Human Leopard Societies”
“Sieg Hi-De-Heil!”
“Ritual Abuse”
“230,000 Lost Souls”
“FUN Magazine vs Islamo Fascism”
“10 Reasons Why… Falsely accused date-rapists don’t deserve your sympathy”

            Yeah, it’s basically the most interesting thing I’ve discovered from the small press/self-published world. The first four issues are all sold out and it wouldn’t surprise me if this one did soon. A must read for those who crave knowledge of the bizarre. 



Sunday, March 20, 2011

Moving on up!!!

After having all three of my previous submissions from Metal Archives reject, I finally got one accepted! Yes it is the Evil Army one YOU read here first!

As trivial as this accomplishment may be, it has rejuvenated my interest in submitting reviews for Metal Archives. Stay tuned for more metal reviews.

This is my happy face

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Evil Army - Evil Army (2006)


           

            There is a lot of thrash in today’s metal scene and a lot of it sucks. So much of it is paying homage the 80’s instead of breaking new ground for the genre. I don’t want to put down any bands or albums in particular, if you enjoy thrash you know what I mean. However, there are some bands which have released some truly stellar thrash. Now here comes the part where I tell you how fucking awesome Evil Army is.
            I first heard the songs “Wrong Approach” and “Evil Army” off of a compilation CD from Hell’s Headbangers. They were so infectious and really the best tracks off of the CD. I eventually picked up their self-titled album and for a year now it is still one of my favorite and most played albums. 13 no mercy head banging tracks and the album is basically the best 25 minutes of your miserable existence.
            For having such a great unique sound and fantastic cohesion for all 13 tracks, it does not feel repetitive or boring at all. It feels like running across no man’s land hopped up on amphetamines with a bayonet in your teeth and violence in your heart. The guitar style has really been inspired by the best aspects thrash; a little bit of early Metallica, Exodus, and a sack of glass shards swinging at your face. The drums are perfect war style thrash. Wicked good speed and snare hits keep you marching towards your certain death. The bass is fast and blends well with the guitar. Lastly, the vocals are perfect.
            Bad or even mediocre vocals can really keep me from fully enjoying an album, but Rob Evil has a style that is terrific. His voice works great in both lightning fast and more slow delivery; great shouts, and snarls, almost punk like.
            As of this posting, there is only one review on Metal Archives for this album. I find that shocking. This is definitely in the top 5 best thrash albums of the 00-10 period. I just hope these guys don’t have to wait for the next generation before they gain recognition from the metal community. 

Monday, February 28, 2011

Closed Caption Comics #9


             
             I’m a simple man; I like my music loud and my comics awesome. I was a little hesitant about “Closed Caption Comics #9”; it seemed like an anthology that would be too sophisticated for me, too much abstract expressionism not enough tits. However it was advertised as “192 page wad. Note: Packed to the brim with comics, not a single page wasted. NO BULLSHIT!” So I bought it.
            It really is a zero bullshit book loaded with comics, comics, and comics. The styles and stories vary a great deal from each creator. I wouldn’t say that there is a central theme to this collection other than great comics. Each creator spins a tale that is unique and memorable. I’m pretty sure most of these guys are contributors to the Closed Caption Comics blog (so if you want to follow them, there’s a starting point). I don’t want to discuss the individual stories too much as I don’t want to reveal too much, but I will say there are a few horror/mystery/scifi stories. Luckily there are no autobiography stories. If there is one thing that makes me want to puke blood it is an autobiographical comics about some wannabe art school dropout eating his own shit about going to see fucking indie band that is too cool to be known by more than six people.
            So basically “Closed Caption Comics #9” is one sweet showcase of different artists from around Baltimore. 23 bucks, no bullshit, and it comes with a slip case and a poster, both very nice touches. 


That poster is pretty sweet and looks great on a refrigerator.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

And fuck you too!!!


I know what you are thinking "The shit is going on with NELU!! I need my mediocre reviews of shit I don't care about!" Take a deep breath and calm down. I'm gonna be putting together a few pieces this weekend on comics, metal, and probably some educational material. 

If you know of some comics or music I might dig, drop me a line and I will check it out. I do like finding more stuff I like (hence this fucking blog).

Last thing, the picture is a Guida original.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Bands to Watch for: The Devastator


The Devastator is a death metal band from East Lansing, Michigan consisting of Clint Harkness on vocals, Tony Davis on guitar, Scott Lehman on bass, Clint Salisbury on guitar, and James Dempsey on drums. These guys were cool enough to send me some songs when I was calling on different bands from Myspace to send their music to WUVT.  In fact, they were the only band to respond to my request.
The two songs they sent me were “Bound and Gagged” and “Black Rapture”. At first I was rather unsure how much I really liked these songs or even the band itself. They were cool enough to send me tracks and I thought the music was pretty good.
Fast forward 3-6 months later, and their singer Clint sends me another email telling me about their new songs and an upcoming debut EP. I had to change my pants after hearing the two new songs. What progression! The Devastator went from, “okay this is death metal” to “FUCKING DEATH METAL!” in a few months.
I am really excited for the upcoming EP and wish these guys much success. They bring some fresh sounding death metal while tipping their hats to the masters. Keep your eyes and ears up for these guys.

More information on the band:
Listen on their Myspace:
and exclusively at:




If you know any metal bands that you think kickass do not hesitate to contact me. I would be happy to spread the word and get their sound on WUVT*
*If  its good enough :) 

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Eyeball Comix Issues 1 & 2

                I was drawn towards Eyeball Comix because it looked like a comic that would pull the right elements of metal, horror and comics together. I was very excited about this title and ordered the first and second issues together.

                The first issue is 28 pages and features six different artists. The first story “The Treasure of Slagg Rock” sets the bar pretty high. The art is very detailed and reflects the talent of artist Rob Amos. He draws his women with big tits and nice curves. The story is fun and original. The next story is entitled “Shotgun Man”, its one page, pointless, and made me laugh. The next story is a little too artsy fartsy for my taste. Its titled “My Ghost” by Nuala Murphy and while it does feature murder and tits, I felt it didn’t have the same absurdist humor as the earlier stories. The next story is called “Angel Dust: Assassin of Youth”. I loved this story! This story takes accounts or supposed accounts of people who have used PCP with horrific results! The art is a simple cartoony style with great facial expressions and gore. I believe the artist behind this piece is name Aresrott. Beyond this there are some miscellaneous pieces of appealing cartoons and comics. The first issue concludes with a tale of monkey cannibalism. When I finished with this I was very happy to have the second issue of gore and mayhem ready to read. 




                Eyeball Comix issue 2 is a nice big 52 pages of similar horror, gore, metal, and complete mental insanity as the first. It contains some of the same artists and some new ones which really add to the diversity of this comic. The layout on this issue is a little better than the first, the interiors are of a slightly glossy black and white, and there is even a table of contents so I know who did what.
                The issue starts off with another Aresrott story, this time involving one of the Manson girls. It’s gory and disturbing, and very informative. I say informative on the assumption that the story is not bullshit, but based on historical fact. The next story is by Rob Amos called “Pirate Sluts”, more great art featuring curvy women, great tits, and nautical themes. After “Pirate Sluts” we get to “Crazy Shit” by Aidan Cook. “Crazy Shit” is the kind of shit I want from my underground self-published comix!!! I don’t give two shits about some post-modern abstract expressionist horse cock of a comic! I want loud noisy violent action in my comix and sonofabitch if Aidan Cook doesn’t bring it! There are two “Crazy Shit” stories in this issue strategically spaced to give you some extra “FUCK YEAH!” when you need it. Both stories are ones that speak highly of the complex society we live in, touching on delicate issues such as hipsters and beer. The art is somewhere between Sam Kieth, Evan Dorkin, and blunt force trauma! Following the first “Crazy Shit” story are a few pages of well, filler. They are some pretty cool pages that maintain the atmosphere that something fucky is going on.
                After a few filler pages we have story entitled “Dr. Sarcophagus Brain of the Gut Man” by Barry Cook. This is another story that fits well with this collection. It’s got Nazis and mindless killing machines made from intestines. ‘Nuff said. Moving on we have the second “Crazy Shit” story. Fuck yeah! Next we have two pages of Kyle Platts. I’m not exactly cumming all over myself when I see Platts' art, but I don’t hate it either. There is a lot of detail and overall an extreme grossness to his work. His pieces are good and contribute to this issue. Next there is “Filthy Lucre” by Russell Taysom. This is a cute little comic in both art and style. I really liked the story, but it is a tad milder than what came before it and I mean that in a good way. It’s almost like a cool breeze on your face before the lunatic with the ski mask returns to torture you with a hacksaw.
 Following this is the story “Blowflies from Outer Space” by Aresrott. Once again Aresrott delivers a real fun horror story this time with some science fiction. Concluding this story are a few filler pages.
Overall I was very happy with both issues. I had been looking for something wild, violent, sick and awesome for a while now and after some being let down by some other titles I can say with much confidence that Eyeball Comix is what I have been looking for.

Check’em out here: http://eyeballcomix.blogspot.com/
               

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Sargeist - Let the Devil in (2010)







                I visited Moribund Records one day and saw their promotion for this album. I will tell you in all honesty, it was ridiculous. They could not have praised this album more or exemplified how important it would be to the entire metal scene and the human race. I really liked “Disciple of the Heinous Path”; six long tracks, raw black mysterious satanic music. Truly underrated and nowhere near as well-known as it should be. When I picked up “Let the Devil In” I was expecting roughly the same thing. I was wrong, and I am glad I was.
               
                       No intro! I love that! There are many cases where an intro to the album sets the mood and creates a terrifically terrifying nightmare atmosphere of death and doom, but where so much black metal consists of roaring waves of cold blasting hatred all of the time, fuck intros.
                 
                       There are 10 songs of terror, darkness, satanic devotion, and mysterious rites. The album favors good production and a faster tempo as opposed to “Disciple of the Heinous Path” which is much more raw and slower. I really love how Sargeist changed their style with this album. There are way too many bands playing complete garbage black metal. There are too many bands that say “Fuck Jesus!” with sonic blast beats and ass-ripping guitar riffs all recorded on an 1880’s phonograph! Sargeist brings the speed, good quality, and a love for Satan. That is genius. That is what I love about Emperor’s song “ Inno a Satana”. Forget songs about hatred towards a God who is trying to control your life and will send you to hell if you don’t kiss his ass, and try songs about pure unconditional love for a being of absolute evil. That is piss out your tits scary.
                 
                Some may argue that this album is nothing special, and in fact sounds how any black metal album should sound. I have already stated how I feel about so much of the shit that is released as black metal. That is why I feel this is so much above anything out there. This is what a great black metal album sounds like, harsh vocals, droning guitars, and awesome drums. I hope Sargeist gains more recognition from this album. Moribund Records was not dicking around when they spoke so highly of this album.
              
                This album takes you into the blackest dungeons, into the mysteries of the unknown, where the followers of hell sharpen their horns.  Black castles of doom appear in the moonlight but only briefly, clouds block all light and you feel a seething devotion rise inside of you, the Master calls you forth to the ritual, Let the Devil in!